i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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