I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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