i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
