oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
