I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
