i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
