We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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