I want to make a zoo with you.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
