Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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