Small penises have feelings too.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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