at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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