U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
