do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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