he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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