the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
