I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's blow job season.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
