Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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