I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Enjoy the penises
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
