You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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