i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
