using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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