he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
