More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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