okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
