i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
