He is an equal opportunity slut.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
