Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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