when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
