This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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