You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize