I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This is classic penis vs brain.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
