is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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