Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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