Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
