You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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