Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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