I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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