On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
