I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
