No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
