it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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