I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
