We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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