my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
