Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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