You're completely useless in the revolution.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
