miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
