I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
