their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
