Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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