i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
