i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
