Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
