he shaved USA in his pubs
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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