I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
