You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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