ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
