She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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