once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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