I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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