i just google imaged poop.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
