i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
