I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
So. Much. Porn.
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