Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
