Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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