i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
