"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
