i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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