Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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