is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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