I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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