Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
