i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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