maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
