Just fell off a train. Bad.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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