i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
