She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
