I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
