you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize