Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You made me cry and you don't even care
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize