Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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