Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
