if only i could text you this smell
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
