She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Everything about him screamed your future.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
