you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
