okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He kissed a someone with a penis
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize