she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
