Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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