if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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