Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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